Gilderoy:
Who's wiser than a warlock, and tougher than a troll
And charming as a candy cane?
Who's faster than a phoenix, and sly as a sphinx
And always set to entertain?

Here to give this sagging tale a hero to employ
Look up to the skies, now look in my eyes
It's gilderoy!

Who's handsome as a hobbit, and manly as a mare
And loves to give the girls a wink?
Who's funny as a ferret, and quick as a quill
And always sings without a lip sync?

Here to rid your nostrils of that dreadful potter boy
'Cause that smell in the air is the marvellous flair of
'Scuse me, gilderoy!

Long ago lived a fellow who caught your eye
Hair that curled in a beautiful fro
Now it's gone, and replaced with a suit and tie
Dancing in a variety show

Oh, where did he go? Does he even care at all?
Recently, he's been acting very queer
Every day, his story grows more and more banal
And voldemort isn't coming this year

Gilderoy is here to fill your short attention span
Why look at that wonder boy
When you could be looking at a wonder man?

Kids:
We could be looking at a wonder man!

Gilderoy:
Who was wizard of the year seven times in seven years?
(Spoken) who was it?

All:
Gilderoy!

Gilderoy:
Who conquered all his fears and made a boggart disappear?
(Spoken) go on, say it!

All:
Gilderoy!

Gilderoy: (kids:)
Who taught a yeti how to sing?
(Gilderoy!)
Walked into mordor and destroyed the ring?
(Gilderoy!)
Battled a banshee and came out a champ?
(Gilderoy!)
Trapped jafar inside of a lamp?
(Gilderoy)

Gilderoy:
Stories of wonder for each girl and boy
Paperback or hardback, for you to enjoy
Form an orderly line

Kids:
It's gilderoy!

Gilderoy:
Ladies, one at a time

Kids:
It's gilderoy!

Gilderoy:
Give me something to sign

Kids:
It's gilderoy!

Gilderoy:
All sales are final
Soon the school will be mine

All:
It's gilderoy!