C                    D
The beers are going down easy,
       G
And my team's playing on the TV,
       C
That tequila and lime's,
       D                   Em
Got me losing all track of time,
       C           D
Been a blurry neon evening,
          G
And these texts, they ain't like reading,
  C                       D
I think her fourth missed call,
           Em     Em
Might be a sign.
     C                     D
So I picked it up, thought I was tough,
        G           D/F#    Em*
And the first thing I     said, was.


[Chorus]
N.C.                    C
I ain't as think as you drunk I am,
D                  G            D/F#
No, I ain't even a little buzzed,
    Em           G        C                    D/F#
And I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine,
                 G
Right now, right here,
G                  C
I promise baby I'm on my way,
D/F#              G
I swear I already paid my tab,
Em              G                  D/F#
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man,
                        G
I ain't as think as you drunk I am.


[Verse 2]
N.C.    C                D
Well, I guess I raised a few,
       G
'Cause Jimmy just got a divorce,
    C                     D
And Timmy just joined the force,
    Em
And Kimmy, you just bought a horse, right?
    C                   C*
And Jimmy, you got a divorce!


[Chorus]
N.C.                    C
I ain't as think as you drunk I am,
D                  G            D/F#
No, I ain't even a little buzzed,
    Em           G        C                    D/F#
And I can walk a straight line ten times outta nine,
                 G
Right now, right here,
G                  C
I promise baby I'm on my way,
D/F#              G
I swear I already paid my tab,
Em              C                  D/F#
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man,
                        G
I ain't as think as you drunk I am.


[Bridge]
G*
Alright though, I'm really gonna need a ride home.
C   D
G
I think she's actually not pissed at me,
C   D
G
Life is good on the porch.


[Verse 3]
C                        D
Yeah, she wasn't listening,
             G
So I put her on speakerphone,
G*
We all said,
N.C.
We ain't as drink as, fuck.


[Chorus]
N.C.                               C
We ain't as think as we drunk we are,
D                  G            D/F#
No, we ain't even a little buzzed, ([?]),
    Em           G        C                    D/F#
We can walk a straight line ten times outta nine,
                 G
Right now, right here,
G                  C
I promise lady I'm on my way, (you said my tab is what?!)
D/F#                G                                    Em
I think I paid everybody's tab, (I ain't paying for that shit),
Em              C                  D/F#
Don't you worry ma'am, I'm a sober man,
                        G      G*
I ain't as think as you drunk I am.


[Outro]
N.C.
Kimmy just got a divorce, she can't afford it.